Technology is evil
Technology is evil. No matter how much time it saves, how many spelling errors it corrects or how many burritos it cooks, technology is and always will be evil. It's not that I dislike it; I am a self-labeled nerd who enjoys anything that requires electricity. In the end, when all the stars are aligned and my last chip is played, I will inevitably remain livid towards this hunk of metal I call my computer.
Oh, and by the way, welcome to the first installment of my weekly "Tech Advice" column. Today we'll be tackling the issue of pop-ups, SPAM and other annoyances. First, though, let me explain my previous complaint. As technology, in particular computers and the Internet, become more prevalent and popular, complaints and problems follow suit. Being the computer geek I am, the more people use technology, the more I have to answer questions. Naturally, being a selfish human being, I would prefer for technology to remain hidden and unused, thus saving myself the need to share my knowledge. Alas, this is not to be, and I am left helping the world with their technological problems.
Have a problem, question, complaint, or any other sort of situation that could be expressed in a couple of sentences? I'm your man. Every week I'll be here, ready to help you with your electronic woes. Don't think of me as Nick Burns, because I'm not here to insult or degrade, I'm here to help.
Today's topic: Internet advertising. The majority of students on campus have their own computer, which eventually leads to pop-up windows, junk e-mail and countless software unwittingly installed on your system. Without your knowledge, there are many websites out there secretly installing bits of software that slow down your computer, steal information and otherwise just cause trouble. Generally, no permanent damage (beyond annoying the hell out of you) is done, but catching and erasing them is on par to calling the exterminator when you see a couple cockroaches in your basement. Moreover, the majority of junk email is sent from such software: A malicious brat sends out his code, which piggybacks on your computer, finds any and every email address from your system that it can, and sends multiple copies of itself (and junk email) to those addresses. The more we cut down on the spyware, the less junk email we'll receive... That's the plan, at least.
Believe it or not, the majority of your computer problems can be solved with a few simple steps. While I don't have the space to explain everything, if you can download Kazaa—which, by the way, you should replace with Kazaa Lite or Kazaa Resurrection—you can follow these steps.
First, get some sort of pop-up or ad blocker. I highly recommend the ever-useful Google toolbar or, for more serious protection, Spy Sweeper. Just the installation of Google's toolbar will cut down your pop-up enjoyment to near zero. Used in tandem with periodic scans from Ad-Aware or Spybot Search & Destroy, you'll have a much happier, faster, more reliable computer.
Third, and most importantly, there's the obvious need for anti-virus protection, such as from Norton Anti-Virus or Computer Associate's eTrust. You're probably going to have to shell out some cash for this step, but it's worth it. While the above steps protect against annoyance, the threat of a legitimate virus is serious. If you value your personal data, or your huge illegal music collection, you'll want to protect it from the myriads of junior high hackers out there. If nothing else, bookmark the HouseCall website and make a note to scan your computer at least once a week.
Finally—brace yourself, a shameless plug is coming soon—you can always ask advice of your neighborhood computer nerd. Look around your floor or talk to one of those START dudes and dudettes, one of them is bound to have some advice for you. If all else fails, there's always that guy that writes for the Reveille. Remember: there is no such thing as a stupid question, only the stupid feeling you get after asking it.